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Building Your Child's Resiliency

Mon, 05 Mar 2018 20:17:52 GMT

How to improve your child's resiliency

Resiliency refers to the coping skills your child has in dealing with the ups and downs of life. Like any skill, coping skills can be taught and nurtured by you, as a parent. Some of the most important skills your child can learn to be more resilient include:

*Acquiring the necessary skills to express feelings in a positive way.

*Looking on the good side of events through positive thoughts and self-talk.

*Learning how to make and keep friends.

*Seeking positive attention from others.

*Learning and utilizing problem-solving skills.

*Practicing positive values such as empathy, integrity, restraint, patience, and honesty.

*Developing a positive identity including confidence, being future-directed, and accepting responsibility for one's actions and the consequences of those actions.

So, how can those skills be taught and nurtured by you? As a parent you can make sure you provide the following to your child:

*Support your child's dreams and goals. If your child wants to be an artist, support that dream. You can teach them a lot about being successful in life through your support of this dream even if your child never ends up being a professional artist.

*Set age appropriate expectations for your child to help them learn responsibility and problem-solving skills. Give your children responsibilities such as chores, helping with meals, or taking care of pets so that they learn competence and confidence in their ability to be independent. Be clear about what the rules and norms are for your child so they know where you stand on issues such as substance use and relationships.

*Give your child love, care, and support. They learn values from you as you are their primary role model. If you want your child to grow up to be an empathetic person show them empathy on a consistent basis. Teach your child the words to match their feelings and when they express those feelings verbally, listen.

*Encourage support and bonds outside of the immediate family whether it is from a relative, coach, teacher, therapist, or mentor. You can not provide everything your child needs to be successful in life. They need positive outside influences and role models to navigate all of the complexities of life.

*Provide opportunities for meaningful family, school and community involvement such as volunteering, sports and social organizations, and constructive activities at home. Your child will have a chance to experience success or failure and ways to handle both in a positive manner. You can empower your child to feel that they can be of service to others and to appreciate their unique abilities.

Finally, to build resiliency children need adults who believe in them unconditionally and who are willing to set high expectations for them.

Next Blog: Teaching Your Child How to Manage Anger

Homework Strategies for Children with ADHD

Fri, 16 Feb 2018 19:28:14 GMT

Ways to help your child with ADHD successfully complete homework assignments

Homework time can be very stressful in households where there is a child with ADHD. There are several strategies parents can utilize to decrease that stress and help their child complete homework assignments with a lot less yelling and tears, including:

* Utilize an agenda/daily planner book for school assignments and behavior feedback from teachers. This is a great tool for communication between you and your child's teacher and to help your child stay organized. You will need to speak to your child's teacher or teachers to arrange to utilize a daily agenda book for your child.

* Help your child organize folders and backpack every school night. Your child's backpack and folders will be stuffed with random papers, half-completed assignments, and lapsed school notices if you do not take this step.

* Set aside a quiet homework area with limited distractions, such as television or siblings playing.

* Break down assignments into smaller blocks (if assigned 20 math problems, break it down to 4 sets of 5 with a short break in between each set).

* Highlight or underline directions in homework handouts.

* For math use lined or graph paper to complete homework to help your child keep numbers lined up. Color code operation signs (+, -, etc.).

* For reading, read together with your child allowing them to read and helping them with difficult words.

* Be available to help child with completing homework.

* Give small rewards for completing work (stickers, snacks, 15 minutes extra media time, verbal praise, hugs, high fives).

Many parents with children with ADHD dread homework time, but with the above strategies you can make homework time a more positive and productive experience.

Next Blog: Increasing Your Child's Resiliency

Strategies for Managing ADHD

Thu, 08 Feb 2018 20:02:09 GMT

Successfully managing your child's ADHD at home

Successfully managing a child's ADHD at home can be a challenge. ADHD requires you to be even more of a parent than the average mom or dad due to your child's increased activity level and their decreased control over their own behavior. You can't expect your child to apply what they have learned from one situation to another. You have to continue to teach your child the same lessons over and over until they acquire the new skill. As a result, your frustration level with your child with ADHD will be high and discipline can seem to be ineffective. However, there are some methods and strategies you can utilize with your child with ADHD:

* Resist the urge to constantly discipline your child. Save punishments for really negative behavior such as aggression. Avoid yelling, spanking, and threats. Instead, calmly remove your child from the situation and give them a "time-out" (no more than 5 minutes) or send them to a quiet area to gather themselves to return when they feel calm and ready to discuss their negative behavior and their plan to improve their behavior.

* Emphasize good behavior . Reward completion of simple tasks. This has been shown to help modify the behavior of children with ADHD. For example, if you ask your child to put their clothes in their drawer reward the completion of this simple task by letting them pick out a sticker or give them a high-five or hug and a "thanks for....."

* Give Praise . Complement them and give extra attention to the things your child does well. Your child may feel like a failure because they have a hard time doing things that other children can do easily.

* Children with ADHD are prone to being disorganized and often lose things. You can help your child by designating places for all of their things including school items, toys, shoes, etc. Maintain an organized home . You will need to spend time every day to help your child stay organized.

* Have a regular routine . Your child with ADHD needs to know what to expect each day. Have a consistent bedtime and wake-up time. Keep meal times consistent and schedule time for homework, play time, chores, and media time. If there will be disruptions to the regular schedule make sure your child is aware every day. You can't tell them on Sunday and expect them to remember on Wednesday. Posting a schedule on the refrigerator where your child can check it multiple times a day can be helpful.

* Explain task instructions to your child in simple terms. Break tasks down into specific steps . If you tell your child with ADHD to "clean your room" you already know that you will find them 5 minutes later on the floor playing with their toys. Instructions must be one task at a time. For example, "pick up your clothes off the floor and put them in the laundry basket." You will still likely have to supervise them in this simple task. Remember that you are training them for the future. In the present they still need a lot of hands-on coaching.

Accept that your child with ADHD requires a lot of extra time and effort. And enjoy the energy and life they bring to your home.

Next blog: Homework Strategies for Children with ADHD

Myths and Facts About ADHD

Wed, 17 Jan 2018 21:12:12 GMT

ADHD Misconceptions

There is a great deal of misinformation about ADHD which can be harmful to children who need evidenced-based treatment for the disorder. Some of the most common misconceptions include:

"ADHD is over-diagnosed"

Approximately 9% of elementary-aged children are diagnosed with ADD or ADHD. While this sounds like a lot, to put it into perspective; in a typical elementary classroom this represents only 1 or 2 children diagnosed with ADHD. If your child's doctor or therapist utilizes accepted diagnostic criteria outlined in the DSM-V guidelines the diagnosis is probably accurate. You can increase the accuracy of this diagnosis if you have your child's primary teachers fill out a questionnaire on ADHD symptoms which your child's doctor or therapist can provide to you.

"ADHD is not a real disorder"

ADHD is biologically based. It is a result of an imbalance of neurotransmitters, or chemical messengers, within the brain. ADHD affects areas of the brain related to controlling impulses, solving problems, understanding the actions of others, and making plans. ADHD is the most common neurobiological disorder in children and can adversely affect a child's social interactions, academic performance, and overall well-being. Young adults with ADHD are 11X more likely to be unemployed and not in school compared to young adults without ADHD. Only 15% of young adults with ADHD have a four year college degree.

"ADHD is the result of bad parenting"

ADHD is not caused by parenting style or decisions. However, parents play a crucial role in providing the resources children need to manage their ADHD.

"ADHD is caused by kids eating too much sugar or by food dyes"

Consumption of foods with sugar or food dyes does not cause ADHD. Almost all children have a brief spike in energy after consuming sugary food related to sugar's effect on our brain. This is not the same as ADHD which is a cluster of symptoms sustained over time. Although some children have sensitivities to certain food additives, this is not likely the cause of your child's ADHD symptoms. However, If you suspect your child is one of the children with sensitivities to food additives you can systematically eliminate them from their diet. All children, including children with ADHD, benefit from a balanced diet and from cutting down on consumption of sugary and processed foods.

"ADHD medication is not effective and will lead to my child abusing drugs"

ADHD medication is effective for 80% of children diagnosed with ADHD. Long term studies of boys with ADHD who took stimulant drugs compared to those with ADHD who did not take stimulant drugs found no greater risk for substance abuse later in life. In fact, stimulant medication for children with ADHD might protect them from later drug abuse by relieving ADHD symptoms that often lead to substance abuse. Children with untreated ADHD are at an increased risk for substance abuse.

"If my child was more self-disciplined they would not need treatment for ADHD"

Children do not have the skills and life experience to manage ADHD symptoms without help. If your child had poor eyesight we would not tell them to "try harder" to see better. We would take them to an optometrist for treatment and we would make adjustments at home and school for the child.

If your child has ADHD or you suspect they may have ADHD, it is important that you seek help from qualified physicians and mental health professionals.

Next blog: Strategies for Successfully Managing ADHD

Does My Child Have ADHD?

Mon, 08 Jan 2018 18:54:21 GMT

How to determine if your child may have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.

Many parents wonder if their child has ADHD, but are not sure if they should seek professional help. The following is a list of common symptoms of ADHD:

1. "Hyper" in constant motion
2. Impulsive
3. Noncompliant with directions
4. Aggressive behavior
5. Difficulty completing tasks
6. Engages in dangerous activities
7. Difficulty managing anger
8. Disorganized or messy
9. Moody
10. Absentminded or forgetful
11. Immature for age
12. Restless, fidgety
13. Inattentive, distractible
14. Difficulty with social interactions
15. Underachieves, failing in school
16. Disruptive classroom behavior
17. Excessive talking, interrupts
18. Incomplete, missing homework
19. Dislikes school
20. Lack of close friendships
21. Conflict with parents, teachers
22. Poor self-esteem
23. Often loses things.

If your child has 15 or more of the above symptoms that have been present for 6 or more months in multiple settings (school, home, etc.) and these symptoms interfere with social and school functioning you may want to receive a professional opinion from your child's doctor or a child and family therapist on treatment options.